It was a like a scene taken out of a movie, a gay movie he never thought that this was possible. Jz stared as cold air brushed passed Elm, sending ripples in his polo shirt  while Elm leans over taking a good look over the display of  cut meats, Jz just take's a good glimpse at him taking a mental picture then adding it to his growing memories of him,he tried to count how many time they had gone out but he has track if there was one thing he learned from Elm it was "living in the moment" not counting the days or weeks but its remembering moments and not regretting things, It was just an hour after the mall had opened, there were only few people in sight an employee placed price tagg's on what seemed to be hundreds of tuna can's with a yellow gun thingie,  crabs lie stoic in glass water tanks you wouldnt know if they were alive or dead unless they gave you a pinch. Elm notices a tank of what seems to be catfish sleeping he approached and banged the hell out of the glass aquarium screaming " hoy gising sayang yung binabayad sa inyo dito" the cat fish were startled they went into a frenzy then returned to the slimy mass of black matter that they were before. His palms were sweaty as he pushed the shopping cart,following him oblivious to the cold air conditioned air he was feeling rather warm inside, happiness like a bullet in the brain it was like a sudden increase of endorphins more than eating chocolate could give, he couldnt stop smirking sheepishly everytime he made a funny remarks about things that he liked and not liked,Elm was diffrent for a 30 year-old, Jz thought that they were similar in some ways and habits even though they were separated by ten years of Elm's existence.
he watched elm while he handed his credit card (jz likes to observe and stared at people a lot)
he notices little things
the trickle of sweat on his forehead
specks of white hair set against a black background
pores..
a darkened nape
he could go on in this trance like state
but Elm brought him back to earth
they haul yellow grocery bags into the cart
with weeks amount of meats(Elm is a meat lover), and other processed stuff and made their way outside
the sun it radiates with heat as they wait in line for a cab he stared at him trough his worn out plastic framed glasses into his eyes then he smiled...
 

what you ar seeing now is a hashbrown
served in a party hmm.. but arent hash browns only served in moring breakfast? unless you want your guests to be feel satisfied in a fast way ,its a money saver specially in times of recesion when you have your birthday feast for your friends try stuffing your guests with these so they wont get past the appetizers
this is only the first time ive tasted something like this
its your normal potato hash stuffed with a ham and chesse center deep fried in reused oil to soak up the flavors

i dont know if our neighbor is trying to give us an heart attack i just feel my arteries clogging with every bite
hindi ko lang alam kung makakailang bypass ka after eating this.

i can send a box of these to the president and kill her on the spot ,she will have a heart attack before even taking  a bite heheh
world domination is at hand haha

heartbeats like sheep
counting till they lull you to sleep
the sound of skin brushing
through streams of linens
to rivers of sheets

Drifting trough
oceans of sleep
half awake
half asleep
trudging
sandy beaches
of desires
forced into hiding

rapid eye movements
making ripples
sending waves
of hypnotic rings
into waters
of dreams ethreal fleeting
un-shrouded feeling
unreal realities
unconsciously manifesting

dream tides
pristine surface waters that
reflects, refracts
fractions of reality
that succumbs to frailty
in the trance of make believe
dreams will set you free

its back to school time
but not for me
no folks im not going to school
i have a leave filed on the nursing college and it seems it will be 3 months more of waiting before i could go back again

it all seems fine on the surface but still... im suffering the trauma of flunking again...thats another year of waiting so thats makes my time spent in college 7 years instead of 4 years
2 years longer than the usual

it seems ive lost track of how many times i messed things up
i still feel like a big failure
its like the world broke down
everybody is changing but it seems im stuck here waiting

waiting for repairs